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‚ô• Thursday, December 31, 2009
Had supper with wee cheng, an awesome supper. like so unlucky went to Panjang, gonna park saw the summon lady, parked at multi story carpark we walk down the stairs to the place and found out that stall has yet to be open.. -____-" so, we decided, to go Timah.. and.. we had to climb up the stairs. so hectic.
more Shits happen. reach Timah, we ordered prata and drinks. The drinks was wrong.. nvm.. the prata order was short of one. T.T my butter.... then nvm.. since i was alr kind of full.. we went off. he smoke. i wanted to sit on the side then i found out i was in between two huge dustbin. crap. --"
after 4 hours of sleep was woken up by cynthia this morning. -_____-" wasn't in a very good mood ever since yesterday, was judge as a loser cause of a conversation regarding independent and dependent. actually i dont know why im so pissed off. -_____________-"
ok. went eat steamboat with cynthia guoqing and wee chin then we headed back home, today, no bird eggs, =_____="
super stress recently due to some stuff that is happening at home. horrible. ):
he came over and find me yesterday, speaking of it, i never asked him to.he sms me at first,then he called and then hang up then not long a knock was heard.
That's the love bite he gave me last night. -.-" and that's not the only one, i only saw it today. =.="
he told me he's over with that girl(for some reasons i dont wish to type her name even though i know it due to some entry earlier on.) since the day he got back to Singapore from Philippines. He says he wants me to be back with him. and told me he will treat me better this time. he said he love me. and even ask me is not being together the only way, as i told him cruelly that, i dowan to be back.. but i cried silently hearing all those.
These hurt that was form was all because of the things i know and add on to the stuff i knew. It was sth, i never expected from him when he left for job training. Almost throughout the whole relationship of me and him, i know im not believing in him cus, he flirts ard knowing new girls online here and there. sweet talking to them.
i know him too well. if one could ask if he's nice. I would say yes. if one would ask me if he's bad, i would say. totally. he's self-centered. But he place his ego and pride down for me so i could never said he's bad. cus for me, he once placed me on priority.
Just because, I wanted to believe him and have a new start, while he was over in Philippines, we texted and stay in contact almost everyday. i've never thought things would go another way with him having another girl over there. although i kept saying stuff like so, u have another girl right. i never meant it. i just wanted some reassurance. But i never get that, cause one faithful day, i was teasing him and he told me he have a gf over there, but they did nth. and He told me, they will be totally over when he's back in sg and he said that girl knows it and didn't mind it. im sorry to say i pity her. but i pity myslf even more. everytime i see those happy moments of me and him, i would jus smile but my heart just sank and felt heavy. when i recalled the words he told me.
i used to save his name in my phone list as ♥.
He took my phone and says wanted to see what i save it as, and viewed my sms and photos on my phone. i change it off, few days back to his name.. when that day, he texted me. sth familar yet distant. it's like so near yet so far.
I miss those sweet moments we once had. and all the bad times we had too.
went looking thru my HDD and these are some of the recalls from the very day, we met :
March 2007
The first meet up of us at bugis after knowing eachother
he did this and send me was so touch that moment. couldn't rem the month.
May 2007
his birthday which we celebrate tgt @ mt faber.
These days that skipped school/work to accompany me at work at bpp.
my first day at work in GleneaglesCRC that he came all the way down just to accompany me for lunch. (:
after such a long time of asking me to be his girl, i finally agreed. -___-"
19 Oct 2007 Our First month being tgt
somewhere in 2007
During halloween 2008 at Night Safari with jie, mummy, Ed, and cyn. Nov 2008
after the bkk trip..
31dec2008
On his 25 birthday 2009 @ dbl o.
they were teasing us -____-|||
These are some of it before we even got tgt. -____-" I founded them in my hdd almost had spiders crawling on it. too long for me to rem when was it taken.
He was worried that i'd be drunk and came down during kalson birthday(i think) @ st james
SO MUCH MORE PHOTOS. =(
seeing all the photos in HDD, remembering the times, he place all his pride and ego down just make me melt somewhat. suddenly, remembering the fail attempt of the cake i bake. and the cupcake i made that, due to his stupidity, he got a diarrhea as place in the fridge and eat it without heating up. -_____-" OK. that's not my fault because, that cupcake was a successful one. as, he's the only one.. having diarrhea. lols. and remembering he paste the neoprints of us on the board which he place on his wall which i am very mean enough to say, it's ugly of him sticking in a mess.
sigh. If only... he never had left when i asked him not to. :( he told me, for his future, he had to leave as being a CISCO guard doesn't give him a good future. which, I felt that's more practical then being a croupier. OK. why am i bitching so much now. =______="
felt like crap now, again, he texted me asking where am i. .
he asked if i wanted to find him or he find me. which left me so speechless. a part of me had been lingering in the present yet yearning for the past. yet, when actual thing happen, i felt im such an ass. ok. speaking of it, Sam is an ass. for making me addicted to saying the word ass.
Met up with meiling and peiyong for dinner at Big O then headed for a movie. after that wanted to go Rachada to look for sophia, waited for like 20 mins she never reply so i headed down to BQ to look for cynthia. had a wonderful Christmas. with all the wishes. although not much but still yes, im happy esp the part on the bet who is the "Ass". wth. im on the dot can?!! wth!
Sophia headed to BQ to find me for supper. (: it was then, I received a text from him, asking where am i.. after eating, shuhui and sophia headed to NANA whereby i went back to find Cynthia. I wanted to go to NANA with them but, Cynthia looks so not okay. Saw Sharon, Dawson and Sze Kuan while on the way walking back to find Cynthia. OK. i admit i cant recognize them. =X I saw this familar looking person sitting on that chair. then i kept looking even walk past then i decided to see if it's Sharon anot. i tapped and lucky i din't recognize wrongly. (: been long ever since Alex grandpa car incident. woohooo. ok. first qns sharon ask me is the same old qns, really end alr ar. wth.
anyway, Im still hungry. bla! ok. bbdd says he getting me that lock I wanted (: am happy. yays. and I'm getting him that white headphones. (:
met up with jx for a movie today and like always, im late and we ended, missing the time for that slot. while on the way, i saw Elson, a name, i nearly forgotten. someone who always challenge me when we were in primary school. it's like some dejavu when i saw him. seems to see it somewhere. wadever.
because Ronald randomly texted me asking me for her num, it make me pissed off remembering what happen 5 yrs back. Steven that idiot.. nvm. wadever. (: i received a sms from him asking where am i, suddenly my heart just sank. once again, all the memories came back, i still remember that faithful day we met, march 15 2007. things have been so wonderful. it was as though yesterday that i met know him. but it had been a long journey for us. now, it's alr 2009. for God knows. ):
ok. not gonna think and rant out. i know, jie and di dotes and love me most that enough. im contented. nothing matter. (: i love them from the bottom of my heart.
recently, gotten quite addicted to.... =P waiting for jie to come back frm KL. and for di to book out after she returns. (: shall gather up again. YAYS!
Insomnia at night. T.T i couldn't sleep due to things daddy had said. ):
met up with Yvonne today, we happily catch up. and just like before, we had hell loads of fun just talking (:
i told her what had happen for this few years, she told me hers, and we were all ranting nonstop about jerks, bastards, bitches, and more but not least sluts.
We ain't no Angel nor Saints from the sky, but I know God love our imperfection. yays. GOD LOVES US.
I couldn't understand why does such a name even existed. Next time, im gonna name my kid God. and i shall made him/her a GREAT person. i guess Humans dont deserve such a pretty name. It just spoils something beautiful that was once supposed to be meaningful.
OK. Christmas is nearing and i hate Christmas. cus, with God, there's Angels. which i once adore. ok ONCE. cus sth change me. God knows why. but i hope he understands why too.
Though the bible says,
You have heard that it was said, "Love you neighbor but hate your enemy." But I tell you: Love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be the son of Father in heaven. He cause his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as you heavenly Father is perfect.
I dont hate neither do i love. sth complicated. but i guess, heavenly Father shall understand.
randomly, someone speaks to me again. i'd be happy if it were to be 1 week ago.
things happen alot at home. im totally exhausted by it. finish all the stuff in office on sat. Went back to wrk and me bb dd at bugis. he help me to carry 100+ mails. to the box. and we sent off.
was feeling all rubbish at mac, and we doodle on the receipt.. pls dont judge me by my looks.
now, when im awaked i couldn't dream anymore. human are way too skeptical. i felt.
謝謝，這一介都會陳為一個經驗。
Blogged @ 3:02:00 PM
‚ô• Tuesday, December 08, 2009
the world just crashed. those were all lies, the name, the things, the events that happen. you never intended to tell me truthfully, till i saw it myslf, the tiny words she wrote, the pictures of u and her, the movie tickets, the arcade tickets, the box, the card, everything pretty bad for me to take it. we never had such a huge argument before never once, even when we quarrel or argue, never once was so loud. never to the extend i'd totally felt im not myslf.
I even said sth I never expect to say, i told him what if i throw away that box and the stuff in it. and he was mad angry. i dont feel like elaborating, and i continue on my temper. couldn't really calm down myself at that point of time, seeing the words Angel struck me hard, cus it was a name that he lied. supposed to be Grace. idk ba.
I guess, it's meaningless to rant over and over about this issue. Suddenly I thought to myslf, if he told me the truth from the start how would i have reacted. could i ever take it or not. i guess not.
Seeing the ring i took away frm him days before his flight, just hurt me as much as this incident.
wq daddy sms me telling me about his bdae, and jus nice i need some1 to talk to. i talked nonstop to him jus like what happen in mark case i think 4-5 yrs back. that's what happen when u have a rs with a Gemini's guy then another Gemini came along and open ur heart again and everything seems perfect, very, until, the moment i thought he'd be the one. and things changed. at least it's 8 December not 22.
this few day, things doesn't goes the way i wanted things to be.
mixture of feelings. clubbed yest, but totally not in mood. was looking fwd to monday actually, but suddenly, monday seems never will come. cus it never happen to be the meet anymore.
people i dont bother care too much make made me felt vexed. people i care, doesn't bother.. zzz
i saw another memory card of mine. pluck in and saw those old pics.. loads of things started to run in my mind. ):
i jus loaded all into my iPhoto. thinking should i del them from the memory card or jus leave it there. things just seems so complicated to think of it.
having fever and suddenly, i dont feel like going to my cousin wedding. ):
