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‚ô• Wednesday, September 30, 2009
shag. am super shag. some feelings are hard to express. harder not to think.
still i haven't did anything at all. ):
am craving for tomyam this moment right not even though, im still not fully recover yet. been almost a month alr.
LOMOgraphy is crap. i felt. since photoshop is there alr. why do we still need a LOMOcam? anyways, lomocam are pretty. and pricey. more than a mth since we broke up, almost a mth since u left. nth really change.
logic tell me, he dont love me anymore. where emotions tell me, to wait. i, fall asleep on the train ride home, and when i wake, my mind float up an image. an image, a warmth i might never feel ever again.
first lesson after project week was quite hectic. it's week 9 already and week 15, is our assessment week. horrible. and my CPJ is not even 1/4 done. how great things can be. trying to be optimistic but sth just drag me back again.
okay. need to try and finish my pop up card as i felt that it's the easiest task of assignment. somebody, motivate me. ):
when to SAMs (Singapore Arts Museum) with meiting. school requirement. i dragged myself to meet her as i was totally not in the mood for it. im just not in the mood for anything. ):
went there grumpily. and took some images. and we went off. headed to toys museum never heard of it anyways. then the entrance was quite ex. so ended, we din't went. and we headed to alot alot of places.
I think it both of us feel weird. and there's like some awkward silents where the both of us don't really know what to say or where to go. =.="
ok. i felt like puking this instance, zzz.
Blogged @ 9:53:00 PM
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since last yesterday, my heart seems heavy real heavy. it felt as though there's some strings then hold it was cutted away. >< what's happening to me.
Blogged @ 9:53:00 PM
‚ô• Sunday, September 27, 2009
some things change within years, things goes clearer in visual.
so sweet of kel last night. he made me feel better so much better then at home. just because of gugu words to ask him die oso must take care of me years back, he came over and brought me out.
and he's dumb enough to tell me, Alexander park, which it doesn't exist at all. it's call labordol park or sth i cant rem how it was being spelled. cute ain't it.
gugu was so sweet as well. i was msn-ing with her and i told her, kel finally had a gf. lols. she msn him and then she made me dont know i should continue crying or to laugh. they just made my day better yesterday.
saw the news. am worried, but, you never bother to let me know if u are ok or not. i guess that's was somwhat an answer for me ba. waited for you to online, text me or even call me for days.but it never happen anymore. it's not like the first few days you texted me just to give me a morning msg anymore. those days made me smile. Remembered, i promised that i'd wait,you just smiled at me and gave me a goodbye kiss that day. i thought it might mean sth. but i guess it meant nth to you at all. everything was just a image. ):
karma does happen and it happen fast. yt, step on some random dog shit yesterday i was there to see it.. and.. i laughed at her. =.= and then it jus happen that today wasn't my day. zzz
went to Great Eastern with yt and her mum, as her mum wants to do sth. which i dont know what. It's somewhere around chinatown and Raffles City. After that, we headed to central walk a little. was supposed to go somewhere else but because the time is too late we decided to give it a miss.
more photos actually, but.. all in yt phone.
-----random thoughts-----
i had been thinking alot since last night. thoughts about me and him. because of what we actually chatted in msn yesterday, make me ponder, will there be a comeback or it's just a spare. and i actually am dumb enough to sms him. waited till 3am.. then i dozed off. when i woke up, still, there's no reply from him. Quite upset actually but still, i continue my plans with yt. then... went back online, randomly, he online... then he msg me.. he told me his card doesn't have enough money to reply sg msg. so i actually asked him. but.. he never gave me an answer to the question i asked.
As usual i got a dunno.
actually today, everywhere yt, her mum and i went, there's fragment of "us". the times, we walked from zouk i think, till where my granny used to live there and we cab back. was hours of walk. it had been the happiest moment of my life.
happy moments are things where i'd never speak off every time, but it doesn't mean i never remember anything.
it seems clearly that there wouldn't be any comeback as everything was just a perfect lie that doesn't exist. just like life is cruel.
wondering how long could my feelings last. from the beginning, i never expected it to even past a yr, but. strange enough it did.
chatted with Veron in msn last night.. felt that what she gone thru was totally a disaster, nth could compare with her. As i chat, i fall asleep. =S
but im grateful that we manage to chat, which make me realize it's not only me who have that kind of selfish thinking. those who dont bother are those who dont care about it. To think of, why do we have to grow up? zzzzz
Blogged @ 11:38:00 AM
‚ô• Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Blogged @ 9:33:00 PM
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met up with andy last night at yewtee. and his friends are dumb and funny. esp that "girl" jus simply disgusting. =S and some of his friends are... somewhat link to me. =.="
is dead. project week. god. too much assignment i dont know where to start with. ):
and we missed CCS. ==" LOLs. they always dont believe me. -,-" duhh. okiie i gotta rush to print shop and go to norman office to hand in my post card alr. ):
hopefully, i will pass. cus, i actually, anyhow. LOLs.
at least we know where is his territory. ): and he chose such an unpleasant place to be at. with loads of flys and bugs flying. zzz.
Blogged @ 11:06:00 AM
‚ô• Monday, September 21, 2009
Daddy went to look for MOMO and guess where he found him at? =.="
he was found astray with wild dogs at sunnei gardok. i dont know how does it spelled, but it's at somewhere further up yewtee that's near the industrial area. ): went there tried calling him back but all he did was RUN. ):
then i called samuel, and we went over to petir to fetch him up and went tgt again but this time it's too dark, we saw momo again samuel tried calling him. but he doesn't really bother. ): i guess. he dont love us anymore. ): ): ): sad case. after numerous tries, we finally gave up as it was dark. Then daddy drove us to chong pang and have our dinner before sending samuel back home. woahhh.
and guess what. =.=" i think, he thought samuel was my bf. ROFL! i don't know should i laugh or cry at that moment. zzzz god. it's an disaster .
met Shaun for dinner at jurong pt as that lady guy is super bored at home on his off day. ended he went shopping. ROFL!
and we actually catched " The Ugly Truth" it was pretty funny. and i realise sth, it seems that, he love GV-ing with me very much. it's like once a yr we will meet up, and everytime, same thing happen we will catch a movie tgt and it's always GV and add on, it's always comedy. =,="
GUESS! is this a guy or a girl?
Blogged @ 11:25:00 PM
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suddenly im quite worried. ):
MOMO ran off the night i felt super horrible. now i felt even horrible, he din't came back. and more ever, someone is like MIA. zzz. T.T wad happen to everyone.
horrible. my fever is still on and off despite the medication the doc gave. ): terrible. i hate this feeling.!!
it's not fair that im sick when im having holidays!!! ):
am sick again it's freakingly terrible. having on off fever. and i just went to the doctor and guess what? my temperature goes up to 38.5 god.
and i have to say thing. the mc look pretty just like a cert. HAHAHHAHA! hopefully nth goes wrong and i'll recover in few days time. if not... im going for check up alr. ): sadis.
confession.
Blogged @ 7:07:00 PM
‚ô• Tuesday, September 15, 2009
wasn't feeling very well lately, have yet recovered.
met up with di, jie and mummy. (^^,) everyone camped at jie hm jus like how we used to. nth really change. im glad. We din't slept for the whole night of yest. i was doing my pins for my typography assignment. while youtubing as the same thing whereas msn-ing with remy. and di is like going to strangle me as i played his fb mj.. and i lost 300++ and after that he played.. and he lose 3k ++ LOLs.
both of us left jie hm at 615 this morning. rushed home, on the way, we saw an accident. super cool.
I left him to play with momo while i went for a shower. i din't know my dad was actually still home. LOLs. they talked. and then... duhh.. my daddy told sam, momo din't eat. =.=" and then after that, both of us rush out. he was going to Pasir Ris to meet his friend to Tekong, while i headed to school (: i was.. an hour earlier. ): was slping practically during Collin Franks Class. ('-')zzzZzz Recently, i felt, sth is missing. but i couldn't know what is missing.
yest night, sam and me was msning. i randomly told him i miss him. and guess what? LOLs. we confessed. and we two agree that, everything is jus so right. jus that there's sth missing. LOLs. and we made a mess with our msn nick. HAHAHA!
im very happy, we will be uniting later. HOHOHO! YAY! 3 of us again. XD
went Demsy's Red Dot to meet Roland, Remy and yt. haaa. she is dumb la. she order drinks without looking at what liquor is use in it. and she ordered around the world. because she saw... pineapple juice. omfg can? zzz lucky im clever know she surely would drink, so... i ordered snowball. hahaaa. clever little me. it turn out that, she really dont like so i swoop with her the drinks (:
met up with sophia. and that girl went crazy, she doodle on my leg randomly, and guess what she drew? a panda. wtf.
i came across sth weird yest, i cab home alone from her home, and i told the driver cck st 53.. guess what, the driver send me till my block kind of creepy..
-----
went school today despite not really feeling very well but amazingly, i woke up at 7.30am on my own. that probably the only reason that make me go school (:
wooohoooo.
he called me from manila this morning. was quite surprised and happy the moment i received his call. =D smsed with him till evening.
rushed home to see if he's online. cus, today last min then i know that, there's the president talk whereby, my lecture is postponed. and i only end class at 7 ): as usual i always fall asleep during the president talk. HAHAHHA! and today the talk is about rhythm. there's musical and stuff as well.
i swear i took photos of it. but i dont know why it was missing on my phone. stupid. ):
when i reach hm, i alr saw he's online. so i msged him instead. (::
somewhat, i felt, i lost my direction. suddenly, i have a craving for cigarettes.
why i dont get the support i wanted from? everyone is demoralize me. telling me there's no hope here and there. but that's not the stuff i wanna hear at this moment of time. it jus make me feel more and more suffocated. why is everyone forcing me. i dont understand. i need support and not ppl that pull me down.
i think, i'm having a fever since last night. din't slept well, ting was there on the line with me while i was writing "sth" that lady jus went mia out of sudden. then, i smsed remy. soon enough i fall aslp.
he had left for manila already...went to send him off, and met dawson and sharon as well. totally dawson cannot keep secret de. -,-"
before he left we took some photos and he gave me a kiss. (:
went to meet him, wanted to see if everything could be alright for us, the most heartbreaking moment, is what i did was a terrible mistake. again and again, i... mess things up. i guess this time, is really over for us. things i wanted was never meant to be mine from the very start. i fall too hard. too hard to get out..
if. tomorrow could never come. things could be extra great. be in critic or "sth else", i jus dont wan tomorrow to come.
sighs ;/
i was amazed by me, myself and I. I did sth in a blue moon again. I... went to school an hour earlier then the time i should be. lucky i was, bought mounting board for mt, whereas, i got a a4 of myslf.. and. the aunty in the cashier only key mt a2 mounting board. LOLs. i only realised when i got out and was walking back to school.
and guess what. I spend the rest of the hour in the library. god. so unlike me. sheese. ):
am doing the freaking research for thurs lesson. hopefully my printer dont... get hungry on me. ): i used too much ink last wk! and it's freakingly slow. one pages... i need 15 mins to print it out. stupid windows.
Blogged @ 8:25:00 PM
‚ô• Sunday, September 06, 2009
went over xt house yesterday as it's her birthday, after that, went to bq as xt friend help out alot and we went down to accompany him awhile before we headed back where by he brought us in. and after i get in an gotten a table, it's almost time to meet Remy. so i headed out to the entrance and waited for him. and we went to jewel box to have a drink.
on the way up hill i have flashbacks of those moments that i once had with aaron there. those drinks those laughter, those date. the flowers, the jokes those puppy eyes of his. everything was being recalled. it's all irreplaceable. Although it's not only him that i recalled. i, too, recalled sophia. where by we went there to dine, and the heavy downpour that soaked our food! (--.")
After having the drinks, we went to have a walk and i saw the boat thingy whereby i never been there before. so uber cool. i think i came from some mountain suddenly, as i went mt faber quite numerous if times already but.. i din know anything about that restaurant hiding over there! HAHAHAHAA! no pics cus i haven get from Remy yet.
after that i headed back to st james to find xt, mer reached by that time. and coincidentally, one of her friend Bella, was my cousin god sis. COOL EH! world is too small. i actually lose control of myself and text aaron. he headed over with remus and a guy. then we clubbed awhile before we headed back.
now, im confused. anyone. tell me what am i going to do? or... tell me what have i been doing to myself?
haven't gotten the pictures from Remy yet. shall post it sometime later.
critic week is coming and im not even done with anything yet. ): will update more after critic week hohoooo.
Blogged @ 11:05:00 AM
‚ô• Wednesday, September 02, 2009
having fever is horrible.
Had a talk with jiejie earlier on. I think, wad she said has reason.. which i actually still couldn't really take it.nor understand it... but.. I'll try.
There's too much tension we think, which is why u started to avoid or what so ever reasons, i do not know. what i know is, my feelings are true.
because of the words u said on sun, i'll wait. becus of the words u said on mon, i'll try. becus of those times we struggle together, i'll endure.
couldn't really sleep. kept waking up thru out in the night, feeling terrible and being suffocated and wanting to cry out loud as well.
i really dont know what to do anymore. am quite lost. feeling quite redundant that somewhat it feels that im the only one feeling this way. i wished to talk but.. i think im just abit too late. he already doesn't bother that's what i actually felt now. he wouldn't start any conversation with me and all this while i could only open the conversation.. wanting to type sth but i ended deleting it. im jus afraid of the words of rejection he's going to respond to me..
